Although I do believe that she has the right to take my opinion or not, I somehow still find it as a bother for her to question me to end up not taking my advice. Two strategies that i believe would be beneficial in this situation with be that of connecting with the universal needs and values, and using cooperative strategies.
Connecting with the universal needs and wants allows me to understand what my colleague truly want from me when she asks a question or for my opinion in a given situation. She might just need confirmation on what she is doing, or she is just seeking a vast amount of views in order to choose the best one. Either way I have to be understanding of the fact that asking me a question does not mean she will use my response.
In using cooperative strategies, we can both come to a solution where I am only question where absolutely necessary. With this strategy though I still have to be cognizant of what may be necessary in her opinion may not be necessary to me, So with this strategy I too have to apply the platinum rule of "do to others as they themselves would like to be treated". In the fact that I would still have to answer her necessary question even if I do not deem it as necessary.
Conflict and communication can be deemed to go hand in hand, for the simple reason of everyone communicating for their benefit. A little compromise and cooperative communicating can go a long way in having effective communication.
Hi Kiendra,
ReplyDeleteI think that using the platinum rule in situations that have conflict is a good idea. Treating others the way that they want to be treated instead of how you would like to be treated really involves empathy and looking at a situation from a different perspective. I agree that using cooperative strategies would be useful in your situation. If she asks you questions when only necessary, she is getting the information she needs and you are not being interrupted when it isnt needed. Both of you would be receiving benefits from the situation.
Hi Kiendra, I like what you said about “if you are going to ask my opinion and still do what you want, just stop confusing me by asking me,” it is something how people will do things just to try and annoy you—not really wanting your opinion, but to aggravate you. I also like what you later said about “She might just need confirmation on what she is doing, or she is just seeking a vast amount of views in order to choose the best one.” That is a really good way to look at it and to give her the benefit of a doubt.
ReplyDeleteReferences
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/
• Foundations of NVC
• NVC Model
• NVC Concepts
Corso, R. M. (2007). Practices for enhancing children's social-emotional development and preventing challenging behavior. Gifted Child Today, 30(3), 51–56. Retrieved from http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://proquest.umi.com.ezp.waldenulibrary.org/pqdweb?did=1303084331&sid=1&Fmt=4&clientId=70192&RQT=309&VName=PQD
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Hello Kiendra,
DeleteI agree that the use of cooperative strategies is a great solution in your scenario because it allows for only the needed information to be known, which stops that unnecessary questioning. The Platinum Rule can be used in almost all situations, but doing to others as you want done to you is a great rule to follow, especially if it is a situation you feel is unnecessary, the other person may feel it to be necessary. I hope that the use of the strategies you suggested resolves the communication disagreement between you and your co-worker.